Mastering Fear (What training Muay Thai in Thailand taught me)
Fear, everyone has it! everywhere you go its always present. Some peoples whole lives are based off of fear. Fear of what other people think, fear of failure, rejection. The list goes on. Fortunately for you, fear is something that can be controlled and made useful. Anybody who has a complete lack of fear would be inhuman. fear is what keeps us alive to a degree, without we would be doomed. However some people let it take control of them, so that what we are here to help with!
Lesson One: Fear Never Really Leaves You
My first fight in Thailand I was absolutely petrified, I was fighting a Thai with lots more experience. I thought for some reason my opponent would be scared, like some man made of steel with no nerves. But as I looked into his eyes come fight night I could see he was just as scared as me! It was quite a humbling feeling! That it doesn’t matter how much experience you have, a fight is still a fight!
Lesson Two: Movement creates momentum
After my first fight I felt much more calm and relaxed going into the second, knowing that my opponents are just as scared as I am. Repetition of scary things seemed to be a good way of ‘Conquering’ fear. My first training session I was quite nervous, but after a few sparring sessions with foreigners I became more and more confident in my abilities to handle myself in ‘scary’ situations. If I had quit on the first go I may never have reached the point I’m at today (man of steel).
Lesson Three: Building Confidence
After a few sparring session and a couple fights I had built a new level of confidence! Instead of looking inward (I’m so scared) I started to look outward (what can I learn today). You go into training sessions with a smile on your face hoping you can learn something new about yourself rather than just trying to ‘survive’. Your eyes open up more and you start to soak up much more information. The roles reverse. It’s not that I got rid of fear completely but I rather ‘toned it down’ to a point where I could go about my business extremely effectively.
Recognising fear when it comes
Whenever you are out in the world and you approach that scary thing, a call from your boss or posting on social media. You really have to recognise the dragon when it approaches. As simple as it may sound recognising the fear and shining the spotlight on it makes it much easier to conquer. Some people I know just sweep it under the rug and pretend like its not there…
Conquering the Dragon (How To)
- Start with small fears
Starting with small fears is a great way to build confidence. Even something as simple as talking to a stranger at a coffee shop or calling an old friend. These little fears can lay the groundwork for the bigger ones.
- Putting Yourself in right environments
Obviously it’s going to be hard to ‘conquer’ fear if all you do is sit at home. So make sure you break your old routines and habits and get out in the world every once in a while. You cannot expect to grow in you never plant the seeds..
- Writing your fears down
Writing down your fear in a journal style format can be a great way to organise your thoughts. And possibly identify the things that scare you most.
Some common examples:
Public speaking
Posting on social media
Making new friends
Calling a boss
Writing these down can give your brain time to think and possibly give you new ideas on how to handle these situations. Even sending these to a loved one or spouse can make you accountable. Make it clear that this is what you want to work on these next fear months, so you can find fearlessness.
- Breathing exercises (when tackling big fears)
Elite special forces units, Navy SEALs/ British Special Boat Services (SBS), utilise specific, rhythmic breathing techniques to lower their heart rate and maintain composure in high stakes missions.
First of all it’s hard to maintain composure when your heart rate is through the rough so having a few tricks up your sleeve can help you Conquer those fears.
Technique 1
- Box Breathing (4–4–4–4)
This is a simple rhythm-based breathing technique used by Navy Seals to remain calm in high pressure environments.
- Inhale: Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds.
- Hold: Pause and hold the breath for 4 seconds.
- Exhale: Slowly breathe out through your mouth for 4 seconds.
- Hold: Stay empty for 4 seconds before the next inhale.
- Repeat: Continue for 3–5 minutes, or until your body settles.
Technique 2
- Tactical Breathing (4–7–8 or 4-4)
Technique 2 slows things down while forcing your body to relax.
- Inhale: Breath in quietly for 4 seconds.
- Hold: Hold in for 7 seconds.
- Exhale: Long, controlled exhale through the mouth for 8 seconds.
- Repeat: Run through 3–4 cycles.
If 4–7–8 feels too long under pressure, you can shorten it to 4–4 with a strong focus on the slow exhale.
Technique 3
- Combat Tactical Breathing (Extended Exhale Focus)
To control adrenaline dump before battle combat operators would use a 4 second inhale with an 8 second exhale.
- Inhale: Deep breath through the nose for 4 seconds.
- Exhale: Slow & steady breath out for 6–8 seconds.
Keeping your breath slow and steady with an elongated exhale is the key to dropping that heart rate right down in high stress environments…
Once you get out there and you start conquering a fears, you begin to grow a new suit of armour, something like iron man or Wonder Woman. You begin to walk with just a little bit more confidence than before, and whenever a new fear approaches you, you never back down. You my friend have become somewhat fearless. Unlike the 8 billion other people that walk the planet, you are among a select few. A path only dare few walk.
Final Thoughts
Nobody’s saying you have to join the Navy Seals or fight in Thailand but becoming a stronger better human will serve not only you but those around you, even your presence on social media will have an impact on those who follow you. So get out there and be fearless and who knows where you may end up.
